The wizards stared at me for a long moment before bursting out in laughter.
“Aye lad, let’s have a smoke,” a broad-shouldered one said, walking over and clapping me on the back. “What’s your name, stranger? You don’t look like you’re from around here.”
“Mark,” I said as the old man led me down amongst his colleagues. “I’m from Colorado… uh, Earth.”
“Urth? Never heard of it. Myrl, is that one of the Southern Kingdoms?”
A particularly soggy wizard straightened his back. “I think it’s one of the islands in the Archipelagos. Or was it a desert? I can’t recall.”
“Actually, I think it’s another world,” I interrupted.
The wizard who led me over pulled at his beard. “Aye. A dimensional traveler are ye? Not unheard of. Not unheard of. I’ve read of such cases. But before we get down to the storytelling, Myrl, can you dry us off for Urk’s sake? I’m dripping wet.”
The soggy wizard, who was also quite skinny, got up in front of the group and raised his slender staff. “[Warm Gust],” he said, and a simple, pale blue spell circle appeared in front of him. The interlocked symbols glowed once, then a massive breeze burst forth.
Myrl was quick to step in front of his own spell circle once it had been activated, and the lot of us were buffeted by what felt like an enormous hair dryer. Within minutes, we were all thoroughly dry, and the spell circle faded along with the gust.
“Now then,” the main wizard said. “Introductions. I’m Bagavash. The skinny one who dried us off is called Myrl. The little guy is Linli.” A wizard who looked more like a gnome gave a curt nod. “And the one who evaporated half the lake is Erl.” Erl raised his staff. He was a big man and towered over the other wizards by at least a head. Despite their differences in stature, they all had long white beards and hair and wore matching blue robes that were somewhat faded with age.
“Take a seat, Mark,” the one named Bagavash said, “And let’s get to that smoking you mentioned.”
I sat down on one of the logs that lined the shore, wedged in between Bagavash and Linli. Myrl and Erl had their own stumps. “Glad to know they have leaf in whatever world you come from,” Bagavash said. “What kind are you smoking?”
I reached into my pack for the Green Dragon Blink, then thought better of it. “You know,” I said, “I halfway suspect this leaf had something to do with my transmigration to your world. We might be better off smoking whatever you have. That is… if you don’t mind sharing.”
Bagavash clapped me on the back again. “You’re a good lad. What’s ours is yours, dimensional traveler.” Bagavash produced a leather pouch from the inner recesses of his robes. “Kalender Black. Finest blend in all Hillsborough.”
This statement produced a chorus of disagreement from the group. “Balderdash!” Erl called out. Linli spat on the ground, and Myrl waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t listen to him,” he said. “Wynly Vanilla is far superior.”
“Only because you mix it with that stonegrass from down south,” Linli said. “No one else can stand it. If you ask me, Garden Hermit Flake is the only leaf for a wizard.”
“You gnomes and your Garden Hermit,” Erl said in a gruff voice, producing his own leather satchel. “It’s Castle Gold for me. Don’t care what the lot of you think.”
It seemed the people of this world were in as much disagreement about the best pipe tobacco as the users on Reddit.
“So lad,” Bagavash said. “What’s it gonna be?” I suddenly noticed each wizard was staring at me expectantly, each with their own pouch held out in front of them. I got the feeling that whichever tobacco I chose would settle a long-standing debate, and perhaps make me more enemies than allies.
Myrl, inched his hand forward in an inviting gesture. I took a second to look at each offering. I couldn’t tell if Bagavash was the leader of the group, but he had certainly been the most welcoming to me. “I’ll take some of that,” I said, gesturing to the pouch of dark shreds in his hand.
The group erupted in disapproval. Myrl huffed and looked away. Linli spat on the ground again. Erl muttered something about, “It’ll go right to his head…”
“I told you all,” Bagavash said. “Kalender Black is the superior leaf for wizards and all magical types. You made a good choice, lad.” He grabbed a generous pinch and packed it into the bowl of my pipe. “Say, this is an interesting stem,” he said, examining the black plastic piece. “What’s this made out of?”
“Vulcanite,” I said. I remembered that from all the research I had done before buying a pipe. “It’s some kind of treated rubber.” They all looked at me like I was speaking gibberish. “Oh, right. It’s made from the sap of a special tree in my world. Who knows? You might even have it in yours.”
“Dimensional traveler,” Linli said to no one in particular, shaking his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“You’ll have to let me examine this when we get back to the tower,” Bagavash said, handing my pipe back to me. “That and the mysterious leaf that let you travel here. But for now, we smoke.”
He pulled out another pouch. This one looked more rigid, almost like it was made out of wood. He opened it and pulled out a glowing ember with a pair of small tongs that had their own slot in the box. Apparently, it had been protected from the deluge earlier.
He reached over and lit my pipe with the ember while I puffed it to life. The leaf he gave me was far thicker than whatever I had smoked earlier, and I let out several coughs before recovering.
Bagavash slapped me on the back again. It seemed to be his signature move. “First time smoking, laddy?” he said with a chuckle.
“Second,” I managed between coughs, my eye welling up with tears.
“Aye, we’ll make a smoker out of you yet,” he said, lighting his own pipe. The other wizards followed suit.
We sat there for a moment, each puffing on our own pipe in silence. The wizards were quite adept at blowing smoke rings, often sending smaller rings to intercept their neighbor’s billowing smoky circles in the air.
“So, dimensional traveler,” Erl said. “What did you hope to find in this world?”
I thought about it for a while. “Honestly, I don’t know. Escape maybe? Relaxation? A chance to start over…”
“Well, relaxation is earned in this world,” Erl replied. “There are monsters around every corner and cults of necromancers who would sooner turn you into one of their undead slaves than light your pipe. If it’s relaxation you’re after, you might want to try the next world.”
I thought about that for a moment, too, as I watched the blue pipe smoke rise up over the greatly diminished lake. “I don’t know. Part of me thinks I have found the right world. I don’t know the first thing about monsters or magic, but if I can learn to do what I just watched you guys do… I think I might be able to live a good life here.”
At this, the wizards erupted into another burst of laughter. “You want to learn to do what we do?” Linli gasped between laughs. “We’ve been at this for decades, mate. Not to mention the fact that we all began our training when we were just wee lads. You must be at the midpoint of your life by the look of you.” The little gnome wizard leaned in a little closer. “Unless aging works different in your world. You a kid?”
“No,” I said, a little dejectedly. “You’re right. I am halfway through my life. Does that mean I… can’t learn magic?”
“That all depends,” Bagavash interjected. “Even if you were young, we’d still have to test you for magical affinity. Those without magical affinities may as well not study magic at all. Most of the world ain’t got it. Just us select few. But let’s say ye did have some sort of an affinity. Being young certainly helps the learning process. A young mind picks things up a lot faster, but being middle-aged isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker. It just might be a little harder for you.”
“If it meant living a life like you guys are living, I’d put in whatever amount of work it takes,” I said. I sounded more earnest than I had meant to. I hoped these guys didn’t think I was being desperate.
They didn’t seem to notice. If anything, they seemed to nod their heads in understanding.
“Well, first things first,” Bagavash said. “We have to get you tested. You’re lucky you ran into us and not those pricks over at the White Tower. They would have turned you into a dungeon scribe without a second thought, dangling the promise of a magical education in front of you like a carrot for years, meanwhile, having you copy countless scrolls for their acolytes.”
“Yeah, I had enough paperwork in my old life,” I said.
That earned a chuckle from Bagavash. “Alright, boys, it’s off to the tower with us.” He looked around at the corpses of cooked fish lying on the shore. “Looks like we’re having trout tonight. Senior Archmage Alynur will be pleased. Everyone put two in your inventory. The rest’ll be fellwolf food.”
I watched with curiosity as the wizards picked fish up off the shore and then disappeared them with just as much ease. Myrl must have seen the look on my face because he said, “What, no inventory in your world?”
“He wouldn’t have one even if his world had them,” Linli replied. “He hasn’t reached his first level yet. The system won’t give him an inventory till it recognizes him.”
“True, true,” Linli said. “Say what if this guy has like, crazy affinities. Maybe being a dimensional traveler gives him some kind of bonuses. Wasn’t Urk supposed to be a dimensional traveler?”
“That’s a myth,” Bagavash said. “We won’t know until we test him. Everyone got their fish?”
The wizards nodded in agreement.
I joined the procession as we left the shore and headed down a trail that led deeper into the forest. Not much was said as we trudged out of the basin of the lake, climbing steadily upward on the rootbound path.
Each wizard had their own staff, unique to themselves, and they used them as walking sticks. Bagavash led the group. His staff was the most standard of the four. Light brown wood topped with a simple yellow crystal. Linli followed close behind him. His staff was twisted to the point of absurdity, like it had come from some creeping vine instead of a tree, and it was topped with a purple gem, actively swirling with clouds of energy.
Myrl followed after Linli. His staff was tall and slender, like him, made out of old grey wood. It was topped with a clear crystal that looked very much like quartz.
And after Myrl towered Erl, the giant of the bunch. His staff was almost closer to a log or a club and carved from a wood that was almost black. Nestled in the crater-like top of it was a fiery orange gem. It was very fitting for the spell he had cast earlier.
I brought up the rear of the procession. After about forty minutes of hiking, we reached the crest of the ridge. In the vale before us stood an old stone tower topped with crumbling battlements. It was surrounded by a low stone wall, and I could make out a well and several gardens within the courtyard.
“There she is,” Bagavash said. “Bluebell Tower. She ain’t much, but she’s home.”
It was late afternoon, and the sun was getting low on the horizon, casting long shadows over the landscape before us. Bluebell Tower reminded me of a rook from chess. It was kind of squat and rundown, and one side of it was completely covered in ivy, but I got the distinct impression that I wanted to be there.
Bagavash turned and looked me in the eye. “Ready to meet the Senior Archmage?”